So, I'm not saying I'm not longer fat, because I am. I have lost enough weight that I feel that I can confidently blog about something that I always hoped was just my imagination. It's not though, and it's disgusting.
I cannot speak for everyone, but I can speak on what I have personally witnessed.
People are guilty of judging a person based on their weight. Hell, even I was guilty of when I was heavier.
TV has made fat people into the new edgy thing. Spinning off weight loss programs, reality shows with fat people, all because we are the new freaks. People like to gawp and laugh. Either that, or made to pity us and feel sorry for us. That's not what we need.
When I was at my heaviest, only a handful of women would give me the time of day. I had NO luck on dating sites...most wouldn't return my messages at all. In public if I started a conversation with an attractive lady, more times than not they would say the bare minimum to get me to simply leave them alone. Granted, I had issues with confidence, but nothing that I would deem dramatic. I would also get a lot of "You're good looking for a big guy." WHAT? What does that even mean..."FOR A BIG GUY?" You mean, I'm handsome but you can't be seen dating a big guy? You can't be bothered to talk to me, or get to know me. Don't say that. It makes no sense.
Since losing weight, I have noticed a difference in the way people treat me. I'm not talking about just women. I mean people in general. Men and women alike. I get asked to more events, people that completely ignored me before have started talking to me. Amazing stuff.
Here is a secret....Fat people know that they are fat. Some fat people are OK with their looks when they are fat. They know they aren't "healthy" but they do what they can to make the most of it. Regardless of what ANYONE thinks. It's not always as simple as diet and exercise. Yes...some people are fat because they are, in fact, simply lazy. That or they are just complacent. It's not OK to blanket the entirety of the fat population with the stereotype that "Fat is a choice". It's not. I tried for years to lose weight unsuccessfully.
Thin people that were handed the genetic lottery and were thin or fit their whole life simply can't understand what it's like being fat. It's not possible for them to get fat, so therefore in their minds, we had to make a conscious effort to get out of control. There is no excuse for their blind ignorance on the subject of obesity. Instead of researching what they don't understand, they jump on the bandwagon and shame people.
Another thing that I have noticed is job opportunities. I could barely even get a call back after an initial interview before working where I do now. It's different when you weigh less. I don't give flying flip what ANY EMPLOYER says. There have been job market studies that prove that heavy people that are equally as qualified for a job opening are less likely to get it because their weight implies laziness.
The study also showed that employers were afraid of health issues (which is admittedly more understandable), and hygiene issues. HYGIENE issues. Being fat does not mean being dirty, or stinky. Even at 400 lbs, I was excessively aware of my hygiene. If nothing else I think I was more sensitive of my hygiene at that weight. There are a few obese people that admittedly do not take of themselves for whatever reason. For that group there are no excuses. Don't misunderstand me. It's important for you to realize the point I am trying to make.
SOME FAT PEOPLE MEET THESE STEREOTYPES. They do. I am not defending those people that simply do not try. I am trying to speak up for those that genuinely try to make the most of the hand they were dealt. People that are fat and are trying to lose weight need SUPPORT.
Instead, in some places. (reddit for example). If I were to go and post something about my weight loss progress. I would be met with incredibly hateful remarks. Whether it be that I am still fat, or I should exercise more, or I didn't try hard enough. Strewn about in the comments will be people saying "Great job" or "Keep up the good work". But for every one of those, there will be 2 from people that are there to discourage or make inflammatory remarks.
Part of me wants to think it's all in my head, but then I read stuff on reddit that simply supports my suspicion.
There is actually a subreddit call /r/fatpeoplehate. It is inundated with hateful remarks about obese people. Some of the stuff they write on there is physically disgusting. As bad as I hate to, let me show you some examples of the things they post. I pulled these off the FIRST PAGE. I didn't have to dig for them. I will not link them. However, I will post some screenshots.
I'm sure by now, you have heard of Tess Holliday. The admittedly obese model. These guys had a few things to say about her.
Then she posted something on her facebook about working out. TRYING to at least be healthy. She said her physical trainer was "Kicking her ass". This was their response to her exercising,
So...The issue is here is that all this motivation that they have AGAINST the fat people could be channeled into good use. Motivation by insults is not motivation. It's a way to make yourself feel good about being a shallow asshole. Plain and Simple.
They FIRMLY believe that shaming fat people is a healthy way to make them lose weight. They post supporting articles like "Man loses 294 lbs after his friend calls him a Fat F**K every day for 6 months."
This is America. We allow free speech, but as a former 400+ lbs man with depression, these types of comments and people are dangerous.
So, what is the takeaway here? What's my point?
Simply this....
Being fat is not (always) a choice. It can be due to any number of things out of our control. I will leave that research up to you, as adults.
Fat people are JUST LIKE YOU. Being fat doesn't necessarily mean they are worse lovers, workers, or people. They deserve every opportunity that a healthy adult deserves. They deserve a chance to find love, because the vast majority of obese people are unable to be as fortunate as me. They will remain large the rest of their lives.
Some will get lucky and find someone that isn't shallow that will love them. They will live long lives. Some will die from health related issues. Some will commit suicide because of posts like above, or because they feel hopeless to do anything about their weight.
The hard to swallow truth is that people make remarks like the ones I posted above dont realize it is life threatening. It's not funny, it's not cute....you could literally be the comment, or laugh that puts the gun or the knife in their hand.
I know it sounds dramatic, but I assure you, it's not. I've been there..personally.
Take that energy and put it to GOOD use. Support someone. Offer help in whatever way you can. If you are healthy and go to the gym, invite someone. Offer diet advice. Offer whatever you can contribute aside from being an asshole. Because at the end of the day, you will both benefit from it.
I'm hopping off the soapbox now. If anyone from /r/fatpeoplehate see this, I'm sure I'll see you on reddit! I really do not care about their opinions. And neither should you.
If you need any help or advice please, contact me. I will do whatever I can to help.
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