Another week on the books....

     Well, I mentioned earlier this week that I had a lot of job prospects out there. I'm still really hoping for the position at a place called Container Components. They make lids, hinges, and casters for dumpsters. The job pays well, and I'll be doing basically the same thing that I did at Smurfit Stone. I have also been offered a job as a wireless phone salesman that will pay commission. I need to negotiate salary though before I can make a final decision on which job I want.
    My therapist tells me that finding a job is going to be a huge step in overcoming my anxiety and depression. I think he is really on to something, because even on the days that I'm running around for interviews and such, I can tell a difference in my attitude. I think its possible to spend too much time at home. If you would have asked me 6 months ago, I would have sworn that I would never get tired of staying home with my family. Don't get me wrong. I love my family and I feel blessed to have them, but sometimes you need to get away from the house.
     I have found myself losing interest in the simple things that use to bring me joy when I was staying at home. I think it has more to do with boredom than depression. I'm ready to get back out into the work field and do something with myself. I really hope I get the call next week.
     On another note, Amanda has decided to go back to school. She is starting mortuary school of all things. Its apparently something she has wanted to do for a while. I don't understand it fully, but if it is something that she will enjoy, I support it. One thing I have learned from depression is that if it makes you happy, do it. It's such a simple idea, but I think that a lot of people forego what makes them happy because they are afraid of what others will think. This is something I am determined to teach my kids early on. There is a point when you are a kid where the idea of doing what makes you happy leaves....and for a lot of people it doesn't come back. I think it has a lot to do with pressures in high school to fit in.
     My foot is feeling better. I have been able to get around fairly easy on it. I'm still not exactly sure how I broke my foot. I almost laughed when I read that stress fractures are common among athletes. I guess that's one thing that athletes and fat people have in common...
     We have a little over a month before our big trip to Birmingham. I'm really starting to stress over how we are going to finance the trip. I really hope that I have a job by then. That will help the financing of the trip tremendously. The only thing left to pay for is the hotel, and gas. Then of course we have food and fun, but luckily our idea of fun is a quiet night at the hotel room with a good movie and some beer.
     I finally got my video editing software up and running, but I lost all my old footage. Its on youtube, so I'm hoping I can lift the intro video off of one of my old videos, because that thing was a pain in the ass to make. I have a camcorder full of videos that I haven't been able to touch because of the software situation. Im sure the youtube viewers have about given up on me.
     Gracie is crawling around like you wouldn't believe. She is so close to walking. Sometimes when she stands up, I halfway expect to take off running, but she usually just falls on her butt.

As always, I will update you guys when I hear back on the job situation and make a decision on it.

Here is a patriotic picture of Gracie. These are her 4th of July pics.

When it Rains, it pours....

     Well, I missed the train on McD's, but I think maybe that was in the cards for me.
I had an interview today at Russell Wireless that went very well. I also have 2 interviews tomorrow, and I got another phone call today from an employer that is wanting to hire me.
     The guy at Russell Wireless pretty much told me he wanted to hire me, but that there wouldn't be an opening for me until the end of the month. So worst case scenario, Ill have a job at the end of the month. However, there still needs to be some negotiations on the pay rate, which he says will come at a later date.

On another note, I somehow managed a stress fracture in my right foot. Let me tell you, it kills! They gave me tramadol (which I hate) for the pain. It makes me sick at my stomach, and gives me a hell of a hangover.

Ill keep you guys posted on the job situation, and I'll let you know when a decision is made. I'm definitely seeing a light at the end of the tunnel.

I have 3 people wanting to hire me!

Sometimes, pride gets the best of you...

     So, as most of my readers know, I have been looking feverishly for a job. I have had a handful of interviews, and I have been given answers from "you are overqualified" to "we filled the position from within the company".
     I realize that the problem is that when I interview, I'm up against 50 other applicants. I try not to make excuses, but sometimes I can't help but wonder if my weight has anything to do with whether or not I get a job. Obviously a potential employer would never admit to this, but let's face. Obesity is linked to (although unfairly) to laziness. When I have a job, I perform to the best of my abilities, which in most cases has led to my getting promoted fairly quickly. I am in no means trying to brag. I'm just trying to explain that when I have a job to do, I do it well.
    First let me tell you what interviews I have had, and the answers I have gotten.

1. Grainger- Interview went well, the job was doing exactly what I did at Smurfit. I got some automated email about how they chose another canditate.
2. Staffmark- Scored very high on all my exams, and they tried to get me in at Jimco. Jimco said I was "overqualified" for the position, and I would be better suited for a supervisory position.
3. Ascent Health Care- Interview went well, I was offered a job to drive mentally challenged kids on a van to and from home for $8.00 an hour. I would have made less than what I'm drawing for unemployment. They offered me a position, I turned it down.
4. Southern Marketing Associates- Interview went well, I was in the top two candidates, and a college graduate was chosen over me.
5. Express Personnel- offered a job in Pocahontas for $9.00 an hour. Again, not enough to justify the drive to pocahontas. I am making more money on unemployment,
6. A.I.D. Professional Employment- application in, waiting to hear on a local position.
7. Express Pawn-Interview went well, nice paying job, filled 3 positions with other people. No explanation asked or given. 

    Now, this is just interviews I have had. This doesn't include the countless applications I have put in. I put in 6 applications at St. Bernard's Regional Medical Center alone. I have received 4 rejection emails. I have applied for FedEx, UPS, SubTeach, USPS, Best Buy, Target, Radio Shack, AT&T, Nordex, Nicepak, Wal-mart, Kmart, Dollar General, Verizon, Sprint, and many many many more. 

   This brings me to where I am today. I got a call from Russell Wireless (Verizon) for an interview, and spoke in depth with the manager about the position, and feel like I will be offered a position. The Verizon will be a base salary plus commission, so the earning potential is high. I have not YET been offered offered a position with this company, but I feel like I will get a job offer.

     Today, I interview with McDonalds, YES, I said McDonalds. They offered me a job on the spot, 27,000 per year, plus profit sharing and bonuses, with the ability to promote very quickly to general manager (which I am told pays over $40k per year. This is where my pride steps in. I do not like the idea of taking a job at McDonalds. I feel like I am taking a leap backwards. I put my 4 years in at Sonic, and I swore I would never go back to fast food. However, 27K is over twice what I'm making now, and just a couple grand less than what I was making at my last job.

    The problems are many, but the main problems with working at McDonald's is as follows. 

1. Fast Food means I'll be on my feet all day
2. They are going to make me shave my beard!!!!!!!!!
3. I will stink like stale disgusting grease.
4. I will have weird hours. No telling which shift I will work.

     So once I was offered the job at McD's, I immediately called the Verizon manager and explained that I owe McDonald's an answer by Tuesday at the latest. I made sure he understood that I would rather work selling cell phones, than Hamburgers. He is going to try to get me in by Saturday for an interview with the district manager.

     I guess my question is; Should I take a job at McDonald's. Am I "too good" to work at McD's. Should I suck it up and take a job on my feet again for 27k? There is definite room for advancement at McD's, but I will also be around food all the time, which is no good for a fat ass like me. 

    I have to make a decision by Monday...so I have a lot of thinking to do.

     On another note, I have NOT been exercising. I haven't gone to Fitness Boot Camp in two weeks. My depression is worse now than it has ever been, so I decided to make an appt for a shrink to try to get to the root of my depression problems. It is getting in the way of my weight loss, and my health. I drag my ass out of bed most days at 1PM. I have a feeling that once Cornelius reads this, he will not be happy. After all it has been proven that exercise helps depression. I feel like I have disappointed him, and myself. I don't want it to make my friends and readers question my will to lose weight. However, it will be hard to understand for anyone that has never suffered from depression. It really is debilitating. I just hope that the shrink will have some ideas on how to overcome it.

     I want/need to get back to Fitness Bootcamp. I need Cornelius to kick my ass into submission. Sometimes I think to myself. "You need to get the hell up and do something. You are a fat ass, and if you don't fix yourself, you will not live to see Gracie or Xander graduate." Then the other side of me says "just sit on your ass and continue to feel sorry for yourself, it doesn't matter anyway".

   

     I appreciate the readers that take the time to listen to my rants, and my attempt to feel sorry for myself. I know that there are people that have it much worse than me, but I enjoy being able to vent to my readers and at least have the illusion that someone out there is interested in what I have to say.

P.S. GUS, where have you been?