Words aren't enough...

    Sometimes words simply aren't enough to convey one's feelings. The problem with words is that they are easy to use. Anyone with a 5th grade education could be eloquent with words. In the past I was very guilty of saying things that I think others want to here to make them happy. It was most likely the salesperson in me.
    I have learned since I have had to reconstruct my life that words alone aren't enough. You don't do anyone any favors by telling them what they want to hear, because it will eventually come back to bite you in the ass. It a lot harder to show someone that you mean it than to just say it. Let's face it, if you tell someone something enough times, and fail to follow through with actions, you simply become a liar at that point, then no matter how eloquent you are, are how much you mean it, they will never take you seriously again.
    I can't tell you how many relationships I have ruined because of this, but I am at the point where I am tired of just talking. I have a dug a hole so big in some of my past and current relationships, that it has completely ruined any chances I have of making a reconciliation. I am going to approach this at a different angle this time around. I want to make it clear, that I am NOT talking about my Ex-Wife here. I'm talking about my future, not my past.
     The sooner we can just start over, and forget the past, the sooner I show my friend that I really mean it this time.
There are certain people in this world that have been through a lot of bullshit. Sometimes, I glorify my problems, and think that I have it terrible, but I really don't have it as bad as some people. I have one particular friend that has put up with so much bullshit from me, and still, against her best judgement befriends me. I just wanted to make it known, that I am thankful.

I'm flawed. Im Damaged at best. I wont pretend I don't have my issues, but I will promise this much....Im getting better, and the better I get, the more I see just how much what I do affects others feelings. I have been nothing but selfish for the past year, and Im getting tired of it.

It's time to put on my big boy shoes and start following through.