Didn't we pass that same tree earlier??

     Its almost embarrassing that I am at the point again of talking about dieting and exercising, but here I am...Walking in circles, just trying to figure myself out. Granted a lot has changed since my last attempt at weight loss, and the blog kind of strayed away from that and more towards my incessant whining about all the stuff that's wrong in my life. The cold harsh truth is that it was always under my control. Even more so now that I am no longer married. I'm still kind of bouncing around trying to figure out which way is North.
    My excuse to the lack of exercise in the past was always my back. Although that is still the case, I finally bit the bullet and became a member of a gym with a swimming pool, so that I can exercise with little to no impact on my back and hips. Since I am currently (albeit short term) living with Mom, I get to benefit from her corporate discount....

So with all that being said, The Food Diary will go back public on the blog (check the right side just under the banner) via a link to myfitnesspal.com

My goal is to walk (hopefully run) a 5K before the end of the year.

Moving onto to more personal matters, as I know my reader demographic is half and half as far as the weight loss/personal blog thing goes...

I got my very first tattoo! The meaning of the tattoo is simply, music is what keeps the heart beating. Simple enough yet effective and meaningful to me.

While I was sitting in the waiting room of the tattoo studio, I decided to play in the electric chair.

    The good thing about the tattoo is that it's easily covered, even by a short sleeve shirt, so I still maintain a professional appearance which is very important considering my current job hunt (which seems to be failing miserably)

    The kids and I are still adjusting to the new and weird visitation schedule. Unfortunately with my current job it makes it nearly impossible to get the kids together for any considerable amount of time. I work every weekend, and my days off are never together. So you can imagine what I'm dealing with. The kids are growing up so fast, it hurts. I really need a career where I can spend more time with them. I bought a fedora and a karaoke game (unrelated purchases), and took a couple of fun pictures of the ankle biters.

Gracie growing into a beautiful girl, and she loves on me and it melts my heart.

    I worry sometimes that my children will make the same mistakes that I made. I want them (just like every other daddy) to make the right decisions, and prioritize their lives. I love my children with every breath I take, but I can't help but wonder what kind of life they could have if I had gotten my college degree first. I'd have a decent job, maybe own my own home. Honestly, it's possible I could have even had happy marriage(s). A lack of money can really take its toll on the strongest of bonds.
    At the end of the day, everything I do is for them. They are my everything. Relationships will come and go, jobs, friends, mistakes, bills....everything is temporary and fleeting. Life by definition is fleeting. Family is one thing that you will always have. If you play your cards right, and think of your family, it can be the ONLY stability in your life, especially in turbulent times like today.
   Its the moments like what are pictured above that gets me out of bed in the morning, they make me smile when I'm down, and laugh when I'm crying. I love my kids. I hope to share them with someone, someday that really deserves them, and will treat them like they deserve to treated.